Every Little Bit Hurts

oldest church 1 bw

So many days leading into so many nights until they are all gone.

We are dead a lot longer than we draw our breath. They throw dirt on us each day…until we can no longer shake it off.

I got the news of my impending tax bill, and literally cried. Fuck it…I’ll keep breathin’ I reckon. Headed to Hawaii anydamnway. I can’t roll over just yet. I have missed so much by allowing what is worrying me in the future to ruin my present. Just like so many do. I am learning to eat around the turds on my plate. I heard a woman tell a youngster once…”If you don’t like the holes in your Swiss cheese, that’s fine…you just eat the cheese, and leave the holes on your plate, sweetie.”

What a nice way of looking at things.

I am finding my smile.

Finding my paradise. So much water has passed under the bridge since I felt the magic of the islands. It will be good to feel it again, and to see it through my Lady’s eyes…as she has never been to Hawaii. My Mother lives on Kauai, and we are going to be taking care of her dog ostensibly…but, really, she’s helping us get started on our life together in a really sweet way. The romantic memories will carry us far.

Watching everything pile up in cycles, it’s tough sometimes to pick up the pieces and start to work….the memories help. This photo was in another stack of memories…taken about ten years back in the oldest church in Kauai. A lot has changed, though the memories remain.

I start to worry, and then I realize nothing matters…

I saw a guy scooping water out of the gutter this morning in Berkeley. He was putting the gutter water into a larger jar from the cup he was using…in a real methodical fashion. He wasn’t official, but he wasn’t TOTALLY ragged-out either…it was a head scratcher. Instead of worrying about the story behind his actions, all I could think was…”Fuck, I’m gonna be okay…”

I’m gonna be okay…each day.

Until they are all gone.

 

“Every little bit hurts
Every little bit hurts
Every night I cry
Every night I sigh
Every night I wonder why
You treat me cold
But I can’t let you go

Every little hurt time
Every little hurt time
Say you’re coming home
But you never phone
Leave me all alone
My love is strong for you
I do long for you

I can’t take this loneliness
You’re giving me
Can’t go on
Giving my life away

Come back to me
Darling you’ll see
I can give all the things
That you wanted before
If you’ll stay

Every little bit hurts
Every little bit hurts
Every night I cry
Every night I sigh
Every night I wonder why
You hurt me
Desert me

I can’t take this lonliness
You’re giving me
I can’t go on
Giving my life away

Come back to me
Darling you’ll see
I can give all the things
That you wanted before
If you’ll stay

Every little bit hurts
Every little bit hurts
Every night I cry
Every night I sigh
Every night I wonder why
You treat me cold
But I can’t let you go

Every little bit hurts
Every little bit”

Written by Ed Cobb…recorded by every one since Brenda Holloway in 1964

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